Derby Business Games

July 09, 2024

In a packed summer schedule of tournaments, the sporting cognoscenti knew that the pinnacle of human athletic performance would be reached at the Derby Business Games on Thursday 4th July.

With our TRADE MARK enthusiasm, team S&P quit the office and headed for Derby Rugby Club to accept the challenge of competing against other local businesses; not for any material reward, but for lasting glory.

Having had a quick chat to see if anyone knew the rules, the team took on Bespoke Inns and Encompass Engineering on the rounders field. Stephen Jackson (standard bearer) opened the bowling, coolly facing down a succession of batters. Several fielders PATENTLY need more practice: Donna Hext (prefers trampolining) tripped over fresh air in pursuit of the ball while Sian Watson (10-metre swimming certificate, 1976) looked like a professional cricketer diving for a catch, right up until the moment she missed the ball. Sue Palmer (ace on a spacehopper), however, took a spectacular catch. Rachel Collins (retired sack race champion) and Andris Wellard (chief tactic: being really tall) showed impressive speed around the posts when they were batting. Joe Tedd (only there for the barbecue) was initially confused by the spherical ball but proved versatile from backstop to batting. Jackson, Collins and Wellard went on to join in several other games, making up numbers for other teams who were short of players and earning extra barbecue tokens for their sterling efforts.

The competitors’ mettle was really tested in the track events. Egg and spoon races were a gentle introduction. Collins and Wellard showed off ability with utensils that they should be able to transfer to the kitchen, while Palmer and Watson proceeded with as much dignity as you can have whilst carrying a wooden egg. Tedd and Jackson bounded boldly in the sack race, but Hext and Watson ran out of breath pretty early. Collins and Tedd proved a good combo in the wheelbarrow races. Hext and Watson were laughing too much, and the next event had started by the time they got to the finish line. Palmer, Jackson, Wellard and Watson finished the relay events with the obstacle race, conscientiously balancing their bean bags despite the rampant cheating around them. Next time you find yourself at a primary school sports day, show them kids some respect – those events are tough.

So, did we win? Well … no … but we did have enormous fun and we didn’t come last! The event was not only a good laugh – it raised money for safeguarding charity Safe and Sound, who do invaluable work with vulnerable children. We’ll be back next year, intent on bringing back a trophy for our mantlepiece.

Derby Business Games
Team S&P